today my day started with a phone call from a client. you know you're in for trouble when the first thing out of her mouth is "you can't tell my parents what i'm about to tell you, right?" and you especially know when the next thing out of her mouth is "i'm pregnant and i want to be emancipated so i can marry my boyfriend."
at first i was flattered that my little delinquent trusted me enough to tell me this kind of information. (and honestly, i knew it was coming. the kids i represent are not the most ... well adjusted ... responsible ... risk averse ... of a group of people that is already generally irrational and ill-equipped to deal with life: teenagers. nor do they generally have the most supportive of parents.) then, panic set in. how the hell did i end up here, in this job, offering to shuttle kids to pregnancy crisis centers and having heart-to-heart conversations about teenage relationships?
on a somewhat unrelated note, i started thinking yesterday about a conversation i had with my mom (i guess almost two years ago now) about the difference between what you need in a relationship when you're 50 versus when you're 25. at 50, being comfortable with another person might be enough. but i would never let my sisters marry someone "comfortable" -- just a nice guy with a plan and a future and a life insurance policy.
of course this begs the question of what is missing from the aforementioned nice guy that makes him unworthy of the affections of a young person such as myself or my sisters... and i think the missing link is some measure of discomfort. nobody ever says "hey, i want to be in a relationship that makes me squirm, look over my shoulder, think twice, reevaluate." but maybe love is having no idea what is going to happen next but not being able to contain your anticipation that it go ahead and happen. maybe love is being OK with committing yourself to having no idea what is going to happen next. regardless, i am sure love is NOT being 100% sure that you'll always have a good dental plan.
in other news, i had a successful easter holiday -- spent splashing around in the sunshine in a cold cold cold snowmelt creek and decorating easter eggs for aaron's mom almost entirely in fun beavis-and-butthead phrases such as dumbass and bunghole. she appeared to be amused. and that's the extent of my mental capacity after days like today.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Love my beautiful boys -- now I'm just counting down the days until they can say "Whatever, Mom."
lose your dreams and you will lose your mind ... {the rolling stones}
The Author
- Kelley
- Omicron Persei 8, Arizona, United States
- i have a loud laugh. short temper. wild side. sparkle in my eye.
On My Bookshelf
- Travels by Michael Crichton
- The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larrson
- The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
- Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein
- Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
- The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs
Panzer & Mohs
Love my beautiful boys -- now I'm just counting down the days until they can say "Whatever, Mom."
the changes in our life must come, not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life, but rather from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience.
{leo tolstoy}
{leo tolstoy}
7 comments:
WOW - Good luck passing your wisdom onto the young delinquents. I'm sure they are receptive and objective... as teenagers always are.
Also, you are right about the level of discomfort needed to create good chemistry. When Daniel used to sit in my office at the English Inn before we'd ever been on a date, I thought I would die for lack of something witty to say and often thought I might throw up on myself.
And, in conclusion, I think he challenges me to be a better, more open-minded me. Which will, in turn, make my life more satisfying.
i think you simplified that conversation...and, at any age, there has to be more than just "comfort"!
but, good to know you do listen to at least some of what i say!
Kell,
Regarding your strict standards for your sisters marrying, have you seen that Atlantic article by Lori Gottlieb that is causing a big hub bub? You should check it out.
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry
Wow, that article (in The Atlantic) is depressing for a late 30s single male law prof. :)
Aren't there any smart, funny women who want to have a long-term relationship with their partner, and not combine it with a houseful of kids and other random family members that detract from the relationship? As the article says, all that other stuff turns a relationship into a non-profit partnership. Yuck.
I do not feel qualified to give ANYONE relationship advice. even 12 year olds. lol.
but i am glad that you will protect me from joe shmoe.
Now you've got me thinking about whether or not the refusal to be comfortable creates the fear of commitment...or if instead...it's the fear of commitment which causes the reluctance to be comfortable...
i don't buy the article chapelheel cites...i would prefer you to read this one...
http://www.glamour.com/sexmen/feature/articles/2006/07/10/kristinarmstrong06may
Post a Comment