<3 & Regression

i don't understand those bitter single (or otherwise) people who gripe about valentine's day and its insincerity and commercialism. valentine's day is the perfect excuse to buy yourself a new shade of pink nail polish, eat a huge frilly box of chocolates all in one day, and bake strawberry cupcakes with sprinkles on them for the special people in your life. (you know: your secretary, the security guards at the courthouse, opposing counsel, and the cleaning lady. a very romantic day, as you can tell.) to me, these are all the essential elements of a holiday. like the 4th of july: excuse to go outside and eat hot dogs and watch fireworks. it's that simple. listen bitches, no one is forcing anyone to buy the life-size stuffed gorilla that is "ape over you." next year just put on your glittery eyeliner, chug a box of necco hearts, smear some vaseline on your teeth, and let the sugar rush carry you through the day.

huy did make a special trip to deliver an absolutely gorgeous bouquet that i smell every time i walk through the kitchen, resulting without fail in purple pollen all over my face. like that game with the magnets you can move around to give harry some rockin' facial hair. long live the general.

so i have made some new friends with psychology degrees. i took psych 201 ages ago, and all i remember is the video of the guy who had a railroad spike jammed through his brain and lived. but these psych people take nothing at face value. it's interesting to listen to them psychoanalyze each other ... but less interesting (read: more threatening) to listen to them psychoanalyze me. on wednesday when i was giving aaron a ride to work, i was treated to a lecture on ego defense mechanisms -- appropriately inspired by a fiona apple song. aaron managed to rattle off at least 20 types, things like denial, distortion, dissociation, intellectualism, regression, and sublimation. my self-proclaimed tactic of choice -- humour -- is considered one of the most advanced of the coping mechanisms and is found in emotionally healthy adults. kind of ironic. but apparently making a joke increases overall global utility by allowing others to enjoy your misfortune. i am enjoying the new perspective, but obviously am dedicated to my economics training. everyone loves a rational decision-maker! and free will to choose. (OK, maybe just me.)

now i am wondering if i have some latent conflict lurking in the background of my life that i am trying to avoid, because i definitely have been experiencing a lot of regression lately. i stayed up till 1AM on wednesday playing paper football (which sadly is a prohibited activity in the juvenile detention center). and spent a couple hours yesterday jumping on a trampoline barefoot in sub-freezing temperatures. and blowing snot rockets off of it. and used the office fax machine today to send secret messages to my friends. and let's be honest ... i don't have much maturity to lose. i already eat ice cream for breakfast consistently and think the automatic carwash is top notch entertainment. however, freud was on to something -- it is amazing how much better you feel after a long day with only a little laughter at some 4th grade humor. i think i'll invest in some pop rocks and silly string for office emergencies.