He Woke Me Up With A Bang Bang

aaron has a lot of guns. i don't know exactly how many or what kind they are. i know that he keeps them locked up in his secret file cabinet with god knows what else. (also his ex-girlfriend knows what else because she broke in there with a butterknife one time -- obviously they are very secure.) and i know that he keeps a gun in his truck all the time and sometimes will strap one to the back of his belt if he goes out at night.

i grew up in the country where there are a lot of guns and learned to shoot when i was a kid (like 15 years ago ... it never stuck). however, i am not used to having to scoot a gun over off the passenger seat of aaron's truck so i have a place to sit. i am not prepared for aaron to stick his gun in my suitcase when we leave my car with the valet at our hotel in vegas. i'm not sure how i feel about transporting his gun in the backseat of the county car while i am in court because he forgot it was in his bag and can't bring it in to work. is he ever going to shoot something? maybe ... i picture a stand-off on the side of the interstate late at night: aaron vs. the prairie dog.

in other news, aaron and i are going to utah to celebrate the 4th of july. i am excited about this, our first trip together, and to see bryce & zion even though:

#1 utah is home of 3.2% beer and the state liquor board. i.e., if you want to drink anything with higher than 3.2% alcohol, you MUST buy it on fridays from 4 to 9PM at the state liquor board and pay out of the ass for it. or you have to buy a membership to a "private club" and then can only be served alcohol if you are also buying food. ridic. not to mention caffeine-free coca-cola. this casts an even larger shadow on a state already full of freaky religious zealots and that harbored my crazy uncle for many, many years. maybe that's an unfair characterization, but i've been reading the mormon murders, which delves into the illustrious history, or lack thereof, of the mormon religion. and i'm sticking to my guns for now.

#2 we will be crossing "the rez." as a little white girl from the east coast, i previously thought that referring to the pieces of crap land our government so graciously offered to give the american indians after uprooting them and killing them with fatigue and disease as "the rez" was a political no-no. however, it seems to be pretty standard here, along with the knowledge that on the rez, you can expect to be unnecessarily harassed by tribal law enforcement, accosted by tweekers if you stop for any reason, and hounded by "rez dogs" hoping for a bite of your 99 cent burger king cheeseburger. so much to look forward to in that trek.

and #3 we will be staying at a campground. in a tent. on the ground. it's going to be 100 degrees, and there is a shower that costs $3. i have an extra $20-bill tucked in my underwear just for that.

i vow not to let these things get in the way of eating hot dogs, drinking beer (imported from AZ), and watching loud explosions in the sky in the true fashion of patriotism. i will, however, take a lot of pictures ... and am sure to have lots to report upon my return.