7 weeks ago, i felt pretty realistic about getting married -- i never thought that it would be easy. i certainly was never foolish enough to think that being married to aaron in particular would be easy. but i DID (foolishly, i guess) think it would at least be easy for the first couple months or so. NO ... thusfar, we are a disaster. aaron is a mess, i am a mess, and together, we are a mess. though i do not care to elaborate, i will be sure to update everyone on how my consultation with the exorcist/astrologist/witch doctor goes. i'm sure it's nothing that can't be cured with the right enema.
BUT even though i wish wish wish at least one of us could catch a break, i'm still enjoying myself and learning about lots of interesting things. like malt liquor! on friday night, aaron and i followed up our happy hour fruity beverages with a trip to the skeezy corner liquor shack where i had my first lesson on the 40. lesson #1: it probably does not matter which one i pick because they are all kind of raunchy. i cheated (only a little bit!) and chose something slightly < 40 ounces. lesson #2: 40s cannot be consumed just anywhere. for example, you cannot simply purchase your 40 to drink in the privacy of your own home. instead, preference is given to open air, public places, and high perches (sometimes necessitating the use of a paper bag). or in our case, a rock ledge off the urban rape trail system, which come to find out, is sporadically decorated with the remnants of 40s past and frequented by drunk natives and homeless vets. lesson #3: you will pee A LOT of times during the course of 40-consumption. given the guidelines of lesson #2, dress accordingly.
notwithstanding problems associated with lesson #3, it was hilarious. probably still a disaster, but one that makes me laugh.
i spent most of saturday being painfully aware of what i ingested on friday night. kim swears bacon is the cure for a hangover -- in the southwest it's supposedly a mexican sausage called chorizo -- but i found riding around on the back of aaron's motorcycle with the wind in my face to be extremely effective. anyway, last night aaron was researching the distinction between beer and malt liquor (praise the lord for the internet to provide an answer to these burning questions) when we discovered a fun new drinking game: edward fortyhands.
during a game of edward fortyhands, players duct tape a 40 into each hand and attempt to be the first to consume both bottles. the rules are unclear as to whether players may remove one 40 at a time. allegedly, this game has international appeal, most likely based on it's intended result: to induce old-fashioned rowdiness or vomiting. AHAHAHAHAHA. i almost peed my pants laughing at this discovery -- it's too good not to share. it is a disaster, however, that i plan to avoid.
p.s. a quick google reveals plenty of firsthand experiences, including the variant: edward fortyhands TURBO !! whoa.
12 July 2008
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5 comments:
I'm not sure duct tape would be my adhesive of choice--though when you're drinking a forty I'm not sure it really matters.
xoxo
Apparently everyone I work with has played this game before. Yikes! I can't even finish one forty! (When Daniel moved to England after HS all his new friends thought Americans only drank forties...)
A couple of observations on 40's et al.
Is duct tape necessary? does anyone actually put down an unfinished beer?
40's only count as one cold one.
It is hard to get them into my beer coozy.
They make "double-dueces" for those unable or unready for 40's
i cannot finish a forty either. it gets two hot and then the raunchyness is too much for me. i would have had bacon in the morning for sure.
KIM
interesting things you are learning...in arizona? or because you are married? we have great...the greatest...duct tape at vvl...should i send you roll in the next package?
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