There's Something In These Hills...

this weekend had the potential to be HUGE: my first PAC-10 football game. i hate the PAC-10; i think they're seriously overrated and if you want to see some real football, head to a state full of good, farm-raised country boys, preferably in the southeast. (it's not that the teams aren't good. they're just not that good.) but i was ready to cheer in my sun devil horns and inspired by the smack talk displayed on the way to the stadium: the only thing husky about washington is their women.

but ASU football sucks. not the team -- the experience. although restraint is not one of my stronger virtues, i exercised a monumental amount of it at the washington-ASU game this weekend. i cannot tell you how many times i bit back the words "at a clemson football game..." in only 60 minutes of regulation play. probably about 1 time per play. minus the # of plays that occurred while i was mesmerized by the fans in the student section batting around a naked, inflatable woman.

for example, at a clemson football game, the fans wait until the ref makes a terrible call before they start chanting bullshit, instead of starting the chorus the second a yellow flag appears. but then again, at a clemson football game, the fans actually pay attention to the game. of course, clemson fans are not constantly distracted by the girl sitting in front of them whose butt crack is hanging out of her dress, homemade from an old ASU t-shirt.

at a clemson football game, we don't boo the other team the second they step onto the field. i'm not saying there's no booing. but we wait until someone deserves it -- keeping a sharp eye on the field while clapping politely as our opponent is introduced. there's no sense booing a team that you're going to embarrass in a 44-20 ass-kicking before they can even make a play!

at a clemson football game, the tiger who does push-ups when we score actually does push-ups. sparky the sun devil would not pass any presidential physical fitness tests... even the girl version. and having been practicing push-ups ALL summer, i am even less impressed with his mediocre effort.

at a clemson football game, the fans never stop cheering. anyone can cheer after the quarterback rushes 30 yards for a touchdown or after the blocked field goal kick. death valley comes in 2 varieties: loud and louder. in contrast, ASU fans only make noise in the form of OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH in an attempt to intimidate the other team. actual words are used only to talk shit. noticeably absent is any form of cheering, such as "go devils." people will actually shush you for making noise at a point where ASU needs to make a big play! i'm sure the players on the field are really inspired by deadpan silence in their moment of need.

so the game went something like this: washington is on offense and they're in the huddle. an ooooh starts up. washington lines up on the field. the OOOOOOH gets louder. washington snaps the ball, at which point all obligation to make any noise stops. the play ends. then the fans snap back into action with great commentary like "fuck you rudy [the quarterback]" (completely ignoring the beating he took in the previous play rushing for the 1st down) or "your momma's a slut #31." awesome.

on a positive note: at least the student section showed some signs of life (while the entire rest of the stadium sat stone still). huy was great company, double-high-fiving our obnoxious neighbors vehemently after every score. the band was actually really good -- who knew seven nation army could be a football song. and i admit i got a good laugh at the naked inflatable woman.

i have a love-hate relationship with clemson football. it drives me crazy, but i can't live without it. i can feel it in my gut -- the big wins and the devastating losses -- an irrational passionate love affair that i will never get over. i saw no emotion in ASU football. if blood runs at all in sun devil stadium, it certainly isn't gold.


all teams can't compare their collective tailgating to a trip to the county fair where even the rival team is offered BBQ at every tent. all teams can't fit 80,000+ orange-clad fans in their stadium. all teams can't have the most exciting 25 seconds in college football. but my team does.

C-L-E-M-S-O-N T-I-G-E-RRRRRRRRRRR-S!! fight tigers, fight tigers, fight, fight, FIGHT!

there's something in these hills and from them we have drawn the power to transcend the stresses and strains that tug away to make things come unglued in these disquieting times, the power to cut through such modern concepts - and such modern facts - as generation gaps, communication gaps and ideological gaps.

{joe sherman, clemson university class of '34}