The Price of Youth

oh how i long for the days of last week... when i was blissfully unemployed (even with the threat of destitution looming over my head when my loans come due next month) and the most pressing decision i had to make was what the heck i need to add to my flourescent yellow striped caftan to make a kick-ass halloween costume. FYI i'm still in the process of acquiring a crown, pink eyelashes, and a big lollipop scepter to complete my transformation into princess lolly from candyland.

i have since been offered a job that sounds fulfilling -- representing kids in dependency and delinquency matters -- with people whose company i truly enjoy, but requires relocation to the retirement capital of AZ. i have until thursday to balance the obvious pros of employment and saving the world (even if in the smallest of increments) against living somewhere that, while beautiful, my (fleeting) youth singlehandedly lowers the average age a couple points and where no doubt i will have to petition for a seperate check-writing lane at the grocery store.

my parents love to say, "i'll tell you what i think and then you can go ahead and do what you want anyway." while i certainly plan to go ahead and do what i want anyway, i only decide what i want after painstaking analysis and fact-gathering. (oftentimes this involves making an excel spreadsheet.) i am the worst at making decisions -- especially important ones that involve leaving behind my fabulous roommate, a mild winter, and the birthplace of kiltlifter. but even seemingly-mundane day-to-day life choices -- like which big tacky necklace best accentuates this outfit, whether i really NEED to take a shower today and have to deal with being all wet once i get out, or whether a pink bike with streamers is better than a red one with flames -- can sometimes be overwhelming.

if it ever appears that i am making a decision at the spur of the moment, it is only because my thought process is so advanced that i can run through and weigh an exhaustive list of pros and cons at near the speed of light. oftentimes a quick decision involves the very big consideration of who cares either way. even though i want to make a perfectly informed decision the first go-round, it's comforting to know that i can always go back. back to the unemployment line. back to my parents' houses. back to planning my day around when jeopardy airs on network TV. and all with the benefit of a little experience and, hopefully, only a few more gray hairs.

in other news, i got the best haircut of my life at earl's school of beauty. i'm as shocked as anybody. and heidi (my unnaturally cheerful 18-year-old stylist-and-BFF-in-training) informed me that i could come by anytime i had a hot date (sure to happen as soon as someone sees this new haircut) and she'd blow it out for me, since i don't have enough arms/hands/coordination to do it myself. now i have the option to look like a real adult instead of some wild hippie. woot.