30 May 2008

Mrs. Aaron Ruda

yes, i am married. yes, i took his last name without even considering one of those silly hyphens even though i apparently already have a reputation as an attorney that i must uphold. yes, i did it without telling our parents -- or pretty much anybody else. yes, i married sans any prenuptial agreement -- other than a promise that we will never sleep on the couch or designate sides of the bed. yes, i moved for the 4th time in the past year, to flagstaff -- at almost 7,000 feet where it still snows in may.

no, this is not a joke. no, elvis was not present. no, i am not pregnant. no, neither of us is being sent to iraq and needs to designate a spouse in order to collect death benefits.

and no, i haven't had any second thoughts about marrying my instant BFF after dating for barely 3 months.

i apologize for my hiatus from blogging. it's not because nothing has happened -- hopefully i will have time to go back and expand on huy's graduation ceremony where i was, for the first time ever, the token white girl and sang 4+ hours of diana ross in karaoke form; our trip to the out-of-africa wildlife park that shares a driveway with my office; and my second restorative justice circle helping the "burrito banditos" accept responsibility for their drive-by-mexican-food-throwing (aka criminal damage) incident. BUT planning a wedding, even for 5 people, is a real hassle. keeping it a secret was even more work for me.

so anyway ........ i got married barefoot in a white dress, standing on the red rocks of sedona under stormy skies in the shadow of thunder mountain and chimney rock. side note: i have been assured and reassured that rain on your wedding day is good luck, in which case i should've played the lottery. i also heard (only once) that rain on your wedding day means you will be very fertile. less excited about that. the judge that aaron and i appear in front of in juvenile court read the ceremony that i wrote. we wrote our own vows. i hand-tied my own bouquet the night before out of flowers i bought at safeway because i hated what the florist did to the hydrangeas i ordered, and it turned out perfectly. aaron insisted on diamonds around my finger. he looked absolutely fantastic all rosey-cheeked in his suit. kennedy made sure we had champagne toasts from the 6 attendees and a cake, the top of which is carefully packed into our freezer for our 1 year anniversary. lana made sure we had a nice lace tablecloth (of course, how could we get married without that?) and some fine silver (that her grandfather used at his wedding ca. 1900). our few guests went out of their way to make the event really special. in the absence of our families, we couldn't have asked for a group of people that we respected more, who cared more about our joint happiness, and who truly believed in our decision. it was absolutely perfect.

the reaction has been mostly positive. except for lynn (who's token phrase is "men are like buses; a new one comes by every 20 minutes") who let me know that she'd be happy to prepare our divorce papers as soon as we're ready. :) aaron's parents are thrilled. his mom almost started crying when i referred to myself as her daughter-in-law (in the context of: say good-bye to aaron now because the way he's acting today you may end up with a daughter-in-law, but no son.) my parents have a renewed interest in coming out to visit. everyone at JPO was sure to inform me of aaron's ear-to-ear-grin when he went to work on tuesday. and i have been treated to many, many stories of marriages that have survived almost 40 years after a short courtship.

more pictures are sure to follow, but this is my favorite -- making eyes after each other after aaron tried to feed me a huge-ass piece of cake.
i like to think that his are adoring eyes ... and mine are i-love-you- but-still-watch- your-step-buddy eyes.

i haven't been the marrying type since i came to my senses after spending a semester in college thinking that my life would be fulfilled if i could just find a nice man (despite the fact that i could probably never love something so stupid) with whom to procreate 6+ times and devote myself to raising children. (egad!) i certainly never fell into the category of person who believed that when you met the right person "you just know." but when people ask me, "what was the big rush?" -- i am confused. i thought the six weeks spent between getting our marriage license (an adventure in itself since we both work in the courthouse) and exchanging eternal promises was interminable. i didn't think i'd EVER make it to may 23rd.

now i'm devoting myself to signing the correct name ... in between gazing at my new diamonds and giggling when my secretaries greet me with "good morning mrs. ruda."