25 Things

prof M passed the challenge on to me to reveal 25 weird/interesting things about myself so i thought i'd share. and this is a first-time confession for #22.

1. i am absolutely terrified of killer whales. i had heart palpitations last time i was at sea world with my sister. i can't watch them on TV without gripping the couch and feeling a noticeable rise in blood pressure. i don't even like seeing cartoon ones atop ocean-themed slot machines in vegas.

2. i greet people by name if at all possible ... even if that includes paying attention to the operator's greeting of "cheryl speaking" or scrutinizing the ticket-taker's name tag at the movie theater.

3. i don't think i will ever be as blindly devoted to anything as i am to clemson football.

4. i still believe that bread crusts make you taller and avoid cracks in sidewalks at all costs.

5. i can be instantaneously cheered with an ice cream cone, a box of chocolate-covered marshmallow somethings, or some swedish fish.

6. i read 5 or 6 books at once and sometimes only one paragraph at a time before putting the book down.

7. my fingers type on an imaginary keyboard when i'm having a conversation with you.

8. i believe the entire world can be explained by economic theory. (just ask...)

9. i am not one of those annoying skinny people who complains about being fat. instead, i am in the more annoying category of being one of those skinny people who complains about being skinny.

10. i say REE-mote. like the beastie boys song.

11. i feel instantly closer to anyone who calls me "kell." which happens very infrequently and almost always by someone who has no business being so intimate.

12. i spend a majority of my life in a blind panic that i'm going to screw up. this would probably be a major personality trait if not for my insane desperation to appear like i have it together.

13. every year on my birthday i tell myself that this is the last year that i can get away with wearing miniskirts and glitter -- i'm too old to look so foolish. i'll try again in april.

14. i am REALLY, REALLY good at dr. mario for NES.

15. i think i might be legally blind -- i can't see near OR far or in the dark hardly at all -- yet get through life with no glasses, contacts, or magnifying lens.

16. i will never be as successful as i could be because i refuse to schmooze. and i'm OK with that.

17. once, in russian class, i told the teacher that i brushed my teeth five times per week. she thought i meant to say five times per day, but my russian really was pretty good.

18. my wedding day was easily the happiest day of my life. <3

19. i could spend 24 hours a day on wikipedia reading about conspiracy theories, historical events, the private lives of the arizona suns, and the making of my favorite beverages.

20. i've not had a single regret about skipping out on my college or law school graduations, and wish i could've avoided it in high school. nostalgia makes me nauseous.

21. i can't sleep if my feet are dirty. and i have to make the bed every morning so that the cat won't get in the sheets. (i don't have a cat.)

22. when i was a kid, i had a huge crush on casey mahoney from the cartoon version of police academy.

23. i'm scared to have children because i'm pretty sure i will have a nervous breakdown if they are not perfect.

24. even though my granny was a crazy bitch and allegedly once described me as "looking like i was going to a cockfight," i still miss her as much as the rest of my family. there's no crazy like your own crazy.

25. farts are funny. as are the opening credits to the aqua teen hunger force movie, jackass clips, and beavis and butthead. and that show where it's half eating contest, half riding carnival rides and the person who throws up last wins.